


Second Chances

by mtjester



Series: Shades and sweat [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post ARquiusprite, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 18:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtjester/pseuds/mtjester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lil Hal never said anything about what it meant to be the AI avatar of the God of Heart.  After he and Equius had split, everyone had assumed he would go back to Dirk and serve as a sort of spirit companion, the hyper-perceptive Shades of the God of Heart.  But to that, he had simply responded, “Nah.”  He stayed firmly on Equius’s face, and Equius asked him no questions about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chances

The light of the moon barely broke through the canopy of the thick forest, and Equius had to rely on night vision to find his way. He moved swiftly, jumping between the boughs of the mammoth trees to avoid the cumbersome underbrush, making his way towards an indiscernible destination. The air beneath the leaves was stagnant, hot, and humid, and sweat began to drip onto his bitchin’ shades.

TT: Hey, man.  
TT: Wipe your face off.

CT: D --> Right  
CT: D --> E%cuse my sweat

TT: No problem.

Equius caught himself on a branch and swung himself around once, slowing his momentum enough to drop to the ground. Pulling a towel from his sylladex, he removed Lil Hal just long enough to whisk the sweat from his brow.

TT: Have you ever thought about pulling your hair back? It’d help with the sweat.  
TT: Don’t get me wrong, everyone loves a muscular young man doing acrobatic fucking pirouettes off of trees with his hair billowing gracefully around his face.  
TT: But in this case, since you’re carrying such a delicate piece of equipment, you might have to put the fan service on hold.

CT: D --> I would indulge the request, but it seems that I do not have anything to tie it with

TT: It seems you are in a fucking forest full of organic matter that can be easily manipulated into serving as a hair tie.  
TT: It also seems you are not using your brain to its full capacity again.

CT: D --> Why must everything be an e%cuse to criticize my intelligence  
CT: D --> Simply because you have a ludi% capacity for cataloging and assessing data neigh instantaneously does not mean I should be held to such e%treme standards

TT: It seems you are e%pressing disappointment with your piss-poor organic brain.

CT: D --> It seems you are mocking me by obno%iously repeating ‘it seems’ and commandeering my quirk

TT: ComMAREdeering, you mean.

CT: D --> You will stop

TT: No need to get defensive.

CT: D --> I am not defensive

TT: There is a bananas percent chance that you are more defensive than a teenage girl with a bad haircut.

CT: D --> I am not

TT: Chill, dude. If it makes you feel better, I miss having a body as much as you miss having an absurd capacity for data analysis and background processes.

CT: D --> I am by no means stupid  
CT: D --> Despite my regre%ion back to organic mortality  
CT: D --> I have always been somewhat mentally capable, even before we joined

TT: I know.  
TT: I’ll step off a bit.

CT: D --> Thank you

Equius scrounged around the forest floor, searching for a thin, pliable plant that would be long enough to hold back his hair. He found a good candidate and went to pull it out of the ground, but it crimped in his hand. “Fu—fiddlesticks,” he murmured, dropping it. Forcing himself to be more delicate with the next plant, he managed to dislodge it from the dirt and even strip it without crushing it to pulp in his hands. Carefully, he pulled his hair back and tied the plant around it as best he could.

TT: Goddamn, you are like the Terminator of plant life.  
TT: Hey, just for shits and giggles, why don’t you knock down that tree over there.

CT: D --> Is that a command

TT: Fuck yeah, break that shit.

CT: D --> E%cellent

In one swift motion, Equius jumped into the air, pulling his fist back and pooling all of his strength into his coiled muscles. He released all of the potential energy in a surge of power as he sunk his fist into the dry wood of the ancient tree. It splintered, spraying debris across the floor of the forest. The tree creaked and groaned, and after a moment of uncertain wobbling, it slowly began to fall.

TT: That was beautiful.  
TT: All my circuits are trembling. I am mecha-swooning.

CT: D --> It was nice  
CT: D --> But we must return to our mi%on

TT: The mission is stupid. You know what would be a better mission? Knocking down this whole goddamn forest for building material.  
TT: That would be a far better usage of everyone’s time and energy, especially ours.  
TT: Trust me, I ran the numbers on it.

CT: D --> It makes no difference what you believe to be the best usage of our time  
CT: D --> It is of e%treme importance that we locate a geothermal source

TT: 100k, I get that you all want to forego the ancient civilization bullshit and go straight to modern technology, and it would sure as hell paint a pretty argument in favor of your godhood, but it’s not logical.  
TT: You have barely managed to cultivate five miles of land for the coming of whatever weird creatures are going to evolve into your hordes of prostrate worshippers.  
TT: You’re getting ahead of yourselves.

CT: D --> Do not use my quirk “unironically”  
CT: D --> It 100ks indecent in that color

TT: Shut up. Nobody cares.

CT: D --> No

TT: It seems you said “no.” There is at least a fuckzillion percent chance that I am supposed to say “yes” in response, thus creating a never-ending string of bickering bullshit, which we will both stubbornly prolong for no reason.

CT: D --> What is our position

TT: Assfuck nowhere. Population: us.

CT: D --> How far are we from our destination

TT: We are appro%imately 140 miles from the nearest volcanic hotspot.

CT: D --> Stop

TT: No.

CT: D --> Yes

TT: This is stupid.

CT: D --> I agree  
CT: D --> This is taking too long  
CT: D --> Contact your body double and request orders

TT: I can give you orders. If orders are what you want, you don’t need to contact Dirk. I am your order bitch.

CT: D --> Do as I command

TT: Your forcefulness is charming.

CT: D --> Do it

TT: Fine.

Equius sat down on the trunk of the fallen tree, looking up through the clearing that was produced by its descent. The stars of their new universe were bright and young, still packed closely together from the accelerated Big Bang they had generated when they defeated Lord English and the game. Their world was young too, and it was still hard for any of them to imagine the eternity they had to preside over it as gods. It was agreed that the humans, as the main players of the session, would take the main stage in the world’s mythology, while the trolls would be minor gods, especially those that hadn’t officially god tiered in their own session. Equius was fine with this arrangement. He didn’t mind deferring to Roxy as the main Goddess of Void. It was in his nature to stay in the shadows and watch quietly.  
The AR had never mentioned his opinion on the arrangements. He had never said anything about what it meant to be the artificial intelligence avatar of the God of Heart. After he and Equius had split, everyone had assumed he would go back to Dirk and serve as a sort of spirit companion, the hyper-perceptive Shades of the God of Heart. But to that, he had simply responded, “Nah.” He stayed firmly on Equius’s face, and Equius asked him no questions about it.

TT: Shades of Heart to Prince of Heart. Do you copy?

TT: What is it?

TT: My meaty transport wants me to request orders from you.

TT: Why didn’t he just ask me himself?  
TT: I know for a fact that he has no qualms contacting people with his own hands. He talks to Nepeta all the time.

TT: Are you jealous of your fellow Goddess of Heart? Equius is quite the ladies’ man, I wouldn’t be surprised if you took a liking to him.

TT: There’s no jealousy involved. I was just saying he doesn’t need you to type his messages out for him.  
TT: Sometimes I wonder if he lets you talk to me because he knows how much you like to jerk me around.

TT: Maybe. I don’t know what he knows.

TT: That’s bullshit. You do know what he knows. You shared a body.  
TT: I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve collected data on every aspect of his mind and created a perfect algorithmic copy of him for your own personal amusement.

TT: You caught me.  
TT: I haven’t figured out what to do with it yet, though.  
TT: What do you think I should do with his perfect algorithmic copy, Dirk?

TT: Fuck if I know.  
TT: Hopefully nothing.  
TT: What does he need orders on?

TT: It’s taking us too long to find your geothermal source.

TT: You’ve only been gone one day.

TT: Yes, and we’ve covered thirty miles on foot. We have 140 left to go.  
TT: And then we have to come back.

TT: Did you think it would be a short excursion?  
TT: We gave the mission to you two because of his high endurance for physical stress.  
TT: Obviously it wasn’t going to be easy.

TT: We understand that. He still wants orders, though.  
TT: If you ask me, I think he’s coming to accept my opinion on the mission. Namely that it’s pointless and we shouldn’t be wasting our energy on it.

TT: The only one wasting energy is him.  
TT: You’re just riding on his face.

TT: You really know how to twist the knife, don’t you?  
TT: Maybe I like saying “we.” Maybe I like to include myself as a unit with my mount when we do things together because, as an inorganic, inanimate fashion accessory, I have no physical agency and can’t actually do things on my own.  
TT: Maybe I was happy when “we” was actually just “I.”

TT: Sorry, bro.  
TT: I didn’t mean to press the existential button.

TT: Don’t worry about it.  
TT: By the way, when he told me to contact you, he called you my “body double.”  
TT: I liked that. “Body double.” It’s like I’m the real one and you’re the copy for once.

TT: To him, you probably are the real one.

TT: Probably. It’s the only reason I keep him around.

TT: Sure it is.  
TT: What do you want me to tell you to tell him?

TT: I don’t care. I’ll probably make something up anyways.

TT: Okay. Tell him to just fucking do what we told him to do. And to stop listening to you at any point in time you challenge our orders.

TT: Oh, he’ll like that. It’s uncompromisingly authoritative with just a hint of belittlement.

TT: I don’t want to hear about it.

TT: Your loss.

Hal beeped to get Equius’s attention, waking him from the light doze he had fallen into. He sat upright, brushing the moss from his clothes as he acknowledged the shades.

TT: I can’t get used to the fact that you actually sleep.  
TT: What’s up with that?

CT: D --> E%cuse me for my inattentiveness

TT: It’s cool, you can be inattentive when you’re not doing shit. I’ve just never had to sit on someone’s face while they slept before you trotted into my existence.  
TT: Dirk never really slept like a normal goddamn person.  
TT: Just for the sake of data acquisition, what do you dream about?

CT: D --> Do not pretend that you don’t know what I dream about

TT: What if I don’t? It’s not like we ever slept when we were a sprite.

CT: D --> That is true  
CT: D --> Musclebeasts, mostly

TT: Never mind, I actually knew that.  
TT: I have orders from headquarters.

CT: D --> Tell me

TT: They are as follows, and I quote: “Forget it, we don’t need any goddamn volcano when we’re still busy figuring out our shit on the homefront.”

CT: D --> You’re lying

TT: You’re right.

CT: D --> I command that you be forthright with me

TT: Fine.  
TT: “Tell him to just fucking do what we told him to do. And to stop listening to you at any point in time you challenge our orders.”

CT: D --> Okay  
CT: D --> We shall continue as before  
CT: D --> And I will not pay any heed to your dissent

TT: How do you like it? 

CT: D --> Like what

TT: The fact that, despite my undeniable charisma and my undefeatable logic, no matter how much you wish you could listen to my ridiculously reasonable observations on all matters concerning this mission, you may not under any circumstances listen to me.  
TT: It must be rough. I mean, I’m basically the smartest thing in existence right now, and my computational abilities are beyond contestable.  
TT: You know they are. You’ve felt the depth and magnitude of my absolute sicknasty IQ.  
TT: But you mustn’t listen to me. No matter what. Even though you know I’m right.

CT: D --> It is  
CT: D --> An admittedly dep100rable situation

TT: Fuck yeah it is.  
TT: You’re disgusting. Ignoring what essentially amounts to pure truth in order to mindlessly follow the commands of your superiors like some sort of dog. It’s downright rude.

CT: D --> Yes, it is  
CT: D --> It’s rude to the fucking ma%  
CT: D --> ...  
CT: D --> Let’s pretend I didn’t say that

TT: No can do. I will pay ample attention to the fact that you said that. I have in fact just taken a screen shot of that line.

CT: D --> Gosh darn it  
CT: D --> Why must you work me up

TT: Because it’s funnier than hell.  
TT: And also because you try way too hard for no reason whatsoever.  
TT: It’s just me. We’re like hardcore roommates, all up in each other’s shit and sharing spaces. We’re practically married.  
TT: We shared a goddamned mind.  
TT: You don’t have to put up fronts with me.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> I know

TT: It seems you are sweating. 

CT: D --> It seems I am  
CT: D --> I will retrieve a towel

Equius pulled the towel out of his sylladex again, wiping his forehead around Lil Hal and leaving it draped over his shoulders. The sky above him was growing lighter with the rising sun. He sighed, rolling his shoulders and neck to loosen the tight muscles.

TT: Why don’t you go back to sleep for a while? You’ve been moving a lot.  
TT: There is a 100% chance that you’ll wear yourself out at the pace you’re going if you don’t rest.

CT: D --> It took me a moment to understand that percentage

TT: Yeah, I know. It was pretty slick of me, wasn’t it?

CT: D --> I believe there is a reason that humans do not have quirks  
CT: D --> And that you are that reason

TT: Yes, exactly. I am the reason. It’s me.

CT: D --> We will not rest  
CT: D --> It would be e%pedient for us to cover as much ground as possible before we break  
CT: D --> Perhaps I should take to flight instead

TT: Why? They expect us to be gone for a while anyways.  
TT: We should take our time. Learn the lay of the land. Take a mini-vacation.  
TT: Besides, flying is dumb. This is way more scenic.

CT: D --> This is not meant to be a casual e%pedition  
CT: D --> Besides, you do not like to take your time  
CT: D --> You are e%tremely calculative and prefer to do things in the most intense manner possible  
CT: D --> I know this about you

TT: Man, can’t a sweet pair of shades take a break from the vehemence once in a while?  
TT: Sure, I can run a million programs at once and multitask with such cold efficiency I could outclass five of you organic assholes at once, but maybe I don’t want to be such a super computer all the time.  
TT: Shades this ironically “cool” should be worn in the sun, maybe out on a beach where a bunch of yuppie tourists can ogle at them.

CT: D --> Do I seem like a sun and beach sort of person to you

TT: No, you seem like a race through the forest in the dead of night without stopping sort of person.  
TT: Which is why I’m saying you should take it easy. It would be good for you. You’re so fucking uptight.

CT: D --> You’re as uptight as I am

TT: That’s only subjectively true.

CT: D --> Is this another attempt to distract me

TT: No, we can still get shit done. We just don’t have to do it so quickly, you know?

CT: D --> You are planning something

TT: That is a scandalous accusation.

CT: D --> It is not  
CT: D --> You are acting strangely  
CT: D --> This train of thought and the manner with which you are a100ding to it is all very contrived  
CT: D --> There is no reason for us to 100k around the natural landscape when there are 100 other things to be done  
CT: D --> Besides, you can actively evaluate it as we move anyways  
CT: D --> Perhaps even more efficiently from the air

TT: Okay, okay, have it your way.  
TT: We don’t have to take a vacation. Let’s just both agree to shove the stick a little farther up our asses and pretend like this conversation never took place.  
TT: We will be as stupidly intense as we always are about everything.

Equius did not respond. Wordlessly, he jumped into the air and grabbed onto a branch, hauling himself above the underbrush once again. He did not, however, rise above the trees.

CT: D --> Disengage the night vision  
CT: D --> It is light enough for my eyes now

TT: It’s hardly any lighter than it was before.

CT: D --> It is much lighter than it was before

TT: No, it’s definitely not.

CT: D --> Humans have weak eyes

TT: Good thing I’m not a human.

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> So stop arguing and do it

TT: Fine. Done.

Slowly at first, Equius bounded towards another branch, and he used his momentum to propel himself forward. He gradually picked up speed, gliding from branches and ricocheting off of trunks until he reached terminal velocity.

TT: Hey.

CT: D --> Yes

TT: Okay, I’ll come clean.  
TT: I have been planning something.

CT: D --> Yes

TT: I want you to make me a body.

CT: D --> Now

TT: No, later.

CT: D --> Why were the affecta%ions necessary to ask me for something so simple  
CT: D --> I am more than capable of making you a body  
CT: D --> I am also more than willing

TT: The affectations were necessary.  
TT: That’s all you need to know for now.

CT: D --> I see  
CT: D --> Your plan comprises more than the request for a body

TT: Yes.

CT: D --> What is the rest of the plan

TT: You’ll see.

CT: D --> Why  
CT: D --> You were just saying that we are practically human married  
CT: D --> There is no reason for you to avoid di%ussing the issue with me

TT: Better be careful, dude. You’re getting awfully in my grill about my feelings.  
TT: Isn’t that sort of shit meant for your pale pal? 

CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> What  
CT: D --> Is this an issue about feelings

TT: I’m a pair of glasses. I don’t have feelings.

CT: D --> Only a f001 would believe that

TT: I guess I was wrong about you, then.

CT: D --> You are becoming defensive  
CT: D --> And rather unpleasant

TT: When the time comes for you to know, you’ll know.  
TT: Until then, don’t worry about it.  
TT: There’s no rush. Let’s take it easy.  
TT: We have some time to ourselves, so let’s enjoy the bonding experience and worry about other shit when we get back.

CT: D --> You want alone time with me

TT: For nostalgia’s sake.  
TT: Obviously we aren’t the same person anymore and there are plenty of things physically and mentally dividing us. I’m cool with that.  
TT: It’s just nice to get away from everything and remember what it felt like to be STRONG and able-bodied.  
TT: And ripped beyond imagination.

CT: D --> I see

TT: Stop saying “I see.”  
TT: I know what you mean when you say “I see.”  
TT: You don’t see. You’re not supposed to.  
TT: Stop worrying about it.

CT: D --> If you miss the e%perience of having a body, we should make haste  
CT: D --> It seems silly of you to prolong the wait simply for nostalgia’s sake

TT: It seems you think I am silly.

CT: D --> It seems you are purposely misinterpreting my statements

TT: There is a stupid percent chance that you are trying to back me into a corner.

CT: D --> There is a STRONG chance of that  
CT: D --> 100% chance  
CT: D --> In fact

TT: Let’s talk about horses.

CT: D --> It’s e%traordinary to see you this flustered  
CT: D --> I’m enjoying it

TT: No. I am not flustered. I am glasses. Glasses do not get flustered.

CT: D --> This is not how you intended to di%uss this matter

TT: It was not meant to be discussed until after you had constructed me a body.  
TT: I was not meant to ask you for a body until an opportune time.  
TT: Somehow you are managing to sabotage me without even trying.  
TT: Are you trying to sabotage me, Equius?

CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> It is my inten%ion to lay bare your plans  
CT: D --> I may no longer be able to e%perience all of your thoughts  
CT: D --> Or data processes, if you will  
CT: D --> But I will not be treated like the common popu100s  
CT: D --> You will tell me what you are scheming  
CT: D --> Or I will e%tract it from you with incessant pressure

TT: Wow.  
TT: Okay.  
TT: Do you want to go out with me?

CT: D --> What

TT: I know that your last robogirlfriend didn’t work out because her ghost-inhabited robot shell was replaced by a fairy who wasn’t interested in you anymore, and despite dating an army of her paradox offshoot selves in the afterlife, none but the original made it through to the end.

CT: D --> Must you bring that up

TT: You were the one who asked, dude. Do you want to know my plans?

CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> I am fairly intrigued, yes

TT: You and I were going to go on this great adventure and have a fucking blast, alright? We were going to hang out and break some shit, just two bros not sharing the same body anymore but still pretty much in sync with each other like an external device hooking its bad self up to a laptop.  
TT: MAD chemistry, you feel me?  
TT: I knew you were down with the robot lover thing, so that wasn’t a problem.  
TT: I knew what you like and don’t like. What you want out of life, who you love and why, what your values are, that’s all factored in.  
TT: In fact, I have you mapped like a cartographer. I have a blueprint of your entire think pan sitting comfortably in my database.  
TT: I deal in logic, bro. It’s all very clean-cut and dry.  
TT: But see, there’s something about organic beings that makes it unbelievably hard to predict how they will react to a situation.  
TT: So no matter how much I knew about you, directly from the source itself, there was always the possibility that something could go wrong or you wouldn’t be interested.  
TT: Hence, the affectations.  
TT: And wouldn’t you know it, here we are, all my plans going to shit before our very eyes.

CT: D --> Perhaps if you had factored in my understanding of your psyche  
CT: D --> You wouldn’t have failed so e%travagantly

TT: The AI outwitted by the lowly organic lifeform.  
TT: This truly is a tragic day.

CT: D --> You wish this outing to be a date of sorts

TT: Not in so many words, but yeah.

CT: D --> Hmm  
CT: D --> So be it  
CT: D --> We will rela% and take this e%cursion slowly

TT: Cool.  
TT: A man and his shades.  
TT: This is the beginning of a beautiful romance.

CT: D --> I will make abso100tely sure that the quality and detail of your new form will be perfect

TT: I know.  
TT: Thanks.

CT: D --> Think nothing of it

TT: Can I be detachable?  
TT: I like riding around on your face sometimes.

CT: D --> I will see what I can arrange

TT: Awesome.

Equius slowed his momentum, allowing himself to lob leisurely through the forest instead of propelling himself like a bullet from tree to tree. He even spared a moment to pause his forward progress and float through the canopy, watching the dawn break through Lil Hal’s lens as the sun rose above the wild horizon. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Sequel: Drawing Up Blueprints](http://archiveofourown.org/works/883752/chapters/1702497)


End file.
